First blog post

 

postWelcome to my first blog post

My name is Kgothatso and I’m a young energetic, loving, spiritual, happy, loyal, sweet person all the way from South Africa, in the Johannesburg area.

I would like change the ideals of what people around the world think of South Africa because we are painted in a negative light but each country has its own problems like poverty,crime and etc.

My blog is going to be more of a personal blog about my experiences, failures, good times, how to seek inner peace, inner engineering, transformation, art, environment, maybe animals and whatever comes to mind.

I am looking foward to constructive criticism about my blog since I’m a beginner.

Dhany rahana ( Stay blessed)

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Don’t take things for granted any opportunity that is presented to you, make sure you do your outmost best at it because one thing about life is you will later regret all the missed opportunities you didn’t take advantage of.
As you grow up you will become bitter of other people’s success because you couldn’t realise your own dreams or you took certain opportunities for a ride.
Life is challenging ask me I never had anything handed to me even when I sweat blood, I would always have something blocking me in my endeavours.
I am a University Dropout, I failed some modules, I’ve dealt with depression and still struggling with it.
Nothing about my life is great, people just see me on the outside like I’m good but nobody know anything that I’m a volcano waiting to erupt.
I’ve tried my best in everything but It seems like things don’t always go my way .
When  you hear people talking about suicide I can relate, I’ve been wanting to die ever since I was like 9. I feel like I don’t know what to live for and things aren’t going as planned.

Note to self

Dear Sparkle

Stop being to hard on yourself and appreciate the fact that you are blessed in so many ways which you do not seem to see.

Nurture your mind, soul and spirit. You are here on this earth because you having a calling you might not know what it is yet but it’s okay. Go with the flow whatever happens, happens!

Don’t allow people to dictate your life and take charge. Your journey signifys growth. You get uncomfortable, fearful and scared but that shows you are doing the right thing.

Learn that life is not a race but a marathorn, it’s not about coming out first but finishing the race at your own speed.

Don’t compare your progress to others, our life journeys are different. For some it’s easier for others it takes time to reach success. Be patient!

I am sorry for listening to people telling you that you are not smart, beautiful, creative and you fat. I subconsciously agreed with them and became my biggest bully. I allowed it to happen. Until I realised you are worthy, beautiful, curvy, versatile, funny, princessslike, energetic, intellegent and innovative. You know yourself more than anyone else. So what other people think of you is not important.

I love you, follow your intuition and heart. Stay happy and attract positive energy by surrounding yourself with good people who want to see you win.

Stay Blessed
💗kSparkle

Depression

I’ve been struggling with depression since high school but I nomally pushed it to the side thinking as time goes it will soon pass.

When I was in High School I struggled to blend in with other kids because I was different. What they liked I didn’t and that took a toll on my spirit because I began to conform to the ways of society.

It was my first experience where I saw how mean children could be and Yes! I was bullied because I gained weight out off nowhere I woke up and next thing I was fat. I was indenial that I ate because I was struggling emotionally and food become my best friend it was my drug I couldn’t live without it. I was dying inside but I supressed it for so long.

I then ventured to varsity without acknowledging that I’m depressed and I will ride it out and everything will be fine until I fell into a deep depression. I was in darkness I couldn’t wake up, my body couldn’t move. I stopped eatting. I fainted once because I was in such a limbo and there was no one who could understand what I was going through I was close to death. No one knew what I was dealing with because I was pretending all the time to be happy and nice. I allowed people to take advantage of me Until my soul couldn’t take it any more.

That is when I realised I was way to hard on myself, I’m a perfectionist, I love being in control and I can’t deal with uncertainty. I was reminiscing the past on the mistakes I’ve made and the failures experienced but I never managed to move on with Grace. I was holding on to the false idea of what I should be and how I should look like. I was afraid of judgement I didnt want to be criticized that’s why I became depressed.

If you don’t live your truth you will become depressed because you going against your SOUL purpose and it not lovely living in darkness.

I’m still working on improving myself and it’s not easy it takes alot of patience to be postive and think better about yourself instead of bullying yourself with negative words.

I am glad to say I’m a depression survivor and Praying and Mediation has really been a great help to me.

Stay Blessed
💗kSparkle

Self Imprisonment

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For years now I have imprisoned my self by having self doubt, suffering from depression, being fearful of the unknown and not loving myself.

I have been a prisoner. Until I decided I cannot live like this always afraid of what someone will say, deception, losing friends,the unknown, failure and hating myself. I took it upon myself to break the cycle by being free of the chains that kept holding me back from achieving what I wanted or living the best life possible.

I told myself life is challenging and if I always keep tabs on the naysayers and what will people think of me, I will always be a prisoner of society. I became tired of my present situation, if something bad happens or good happens it’s meant to be but I must always learn from it than being afraid to try.

I realised that I should always surround myself with people that love, support me and want me to win in life. Also never giving up in life no matter how hard it is or what my situation is. People will always talk whether you doing good or bad but it’s how you respond to them that makes a difference.

I became more aware that I can’t torture myself by not being free and just being. I need to live life without fear of the unknown and just start implementing daily rituals that will help me to become a better person than who I am.

Choose Happy
💗kSparkle

What is success to you?

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Are you letting people define what success should look like? And you don’t even look deeper into what your soul desires?

Success is such a complex definition. You hold the power to define success. It differs from person to person.

For some people being successful is getting married and having kids, working in their dream job with less pay, living in the farm or just being rich. We all desire something different.

Yet again society expects us all to accummulate wealth and if you not on that bandwagon you are considered poor or worthless. Thats why most of us aren’t happy we building someone else’s dream instead of our own. We allow pollitics to determine our future instead of making our future.

Our happiness is determined by someone else. Have you ever looked inward and asked yourself the most important questions as to why you on earth and what will make you happy for the rest of your life? No! but you want to be happy.

I have learned that in life you should be more open to new experiences and start doing instead of being wishful and hoping somewhere somehow there is someone coming to save you and make your dreams come true that won’t happen. You hold the keys to your vehicle so if you don’t drive no one will drive it for you. It will be challenging and it won’t happen over night but your dreams will come true eventually.
Trust and believe.

So what you waiting for? just do it.

💗kSparkle

Why we dont love like we used to?

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Why we dont love like we used to?

Most of us have developed a huge wall. We don’t want to let anyone in because of our past bad experiences.

Maybe you were bullied or loved someone so hard that they broke your heart. You feel like you’ll never find someone who will make you happy because you still reliving the past about how someone said you worthless, ugly, you’ll never find someone to love you and etc.

What happens now is that you have a wall up so that no one can enter and hurt you but just maybe there is someone out there who can love you better than you realise but you let fear in the way so you miss an opportunity. Then you start saying why am I single? no one loves me.

You are the course of your own misery. Learn to forgive all the people who have done you wrong because guess what some of those people don’t even realise they hurt your feelings and are busy moving on with their lives and you wondering why they happy whilst you still holding on to what they have done to you.

In life you need experience to teach you how to love and be a better lover but you court up in the past as to why it didn’t work out instead of just taking all the postive things you’ve gained from your past failed relationship and tell yourself you can do better because with experience comes knowledge.

Let go of the hurt and the past, forgiveness is not for them but for you. Love even if you get hurt just know that it is an experience and you’ve learnt a whole lot about it.

Don’t be afraid to be you and love. Remove all that burderns you still carrying. But love yourself first before you can love anyone since you attract who you are.

Love without expecting love back.

💗kSparkle

Uncertainty about the future

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We all afraid of the unknown as to what the future will be for us.
We afraid!

We want to controll the situation like we controll our partners, children and environment yet we cant seem to control the future because its not tangible.

We worried so we go on possessing everything around us so that just maybe one-day we won’t have nothing but atleast you saved something for yourself. Is that realistic?

We afraid to loss ourselves in this world because there is alot of negativity from the news we hear everyday that populate our minds with filth. Yet again who do we blame for the inequality, injustice, segregation and etc? We are to blame as a whole society for the way we are living on earth.

Deep down we scared of the future because we know the earth will be doomed we have destroyed it because of greed and we are afraid to die because with dying it’s also another uncertainty as how it feels and what will happen when we dead.

What if we all tried to be positive and bring positivity to everyone we come across maybe the world will be a better place but we all so unhappy that we want to hurt other people.

Stay blessed.

💗kSparkle